Mirrors Reversed
by Star Rhapsody
Summary: [Oneshot]Humanity exists, even in the ones who stand for everything against it. [Slight AxS]


**AN: **Okay, I'd like to say that this is my first Hellsing fic. Ever. So, when you read this, I'm not expecting you think it's anything above mediocre. In fact, I'd say it would be even farther down the scale than that. And I also know the idea is somewhat cliché (at least the time I've spent in the Hellsing Fanfiction Fandom), the whole "Seras questioning things" blah blah blah. But this was a way for me to experiment. Criticism is much appreciated if you could give me pointers and such. Though I don't know if I'll be writing any more Hellsing fics.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Hellsing.

**Mirrors Reversed**

When she was younger, she never believed in grey spots. She didn't believe that people could have mixed emotions. You were either happy, or you were sad. You were either good, or you were bad. But then again, she was human.

Ignorance was a contagious disease, and she had caught it.

But now…Now when the tables were turned and she was one of the 'bad', things seemed a little out of balance. She knew she herself wasn't evil—she knew herself well enough to determine that! However, other people…They looked at her as if she were some sort of monster, waiting to strike at them and suck all of their life out of them, until they were some sort of decaying corpse.

And it wasn't worth trying to convince them otherwise. They usually never stuck around her long enough for her to greet them. She tried smiling in the halls, but it must've come off as sinister to the clouded human eyes.

Part of her wished to go back to human, only to be spared of the isolation, but the other half, the one who spoke raw truth, believed that her human nature would only bring back ignorance. Ignorance that was better off gone.

As she meandered through the dark hallways, she stopped by one of the large windows, peering into the night sky filled with mystifying stars and the luminous moon. It seemed far too lonely—way up there, so high that life can only look at you.

_No wonder us vampires are connected to the moon_, she thought sadly. _We are linked together by our loneliness, our inability to keep life around us for too long._

"Thinking silly thoughts again, Police Girl?" A voice jeered out of nowhere, though Seras wasn't alarmed. It was just her master, Alucard, acting like he normally does.

"They aren't silly," she shot back, though she knew he wouldn't believe her. Besides, he was far older and, though she hated to admit it, especially when he laughed like a hysterical man gone for days without water, he was wise. He of all people should know what it's like to bear your loneliness and feeling of separation from the outer world.

"What's it like?" She asked, looking up at him with her curious red eyes.

A snort escaped his lips, eyes somewhat darkening, losing the glint of mischievousness that usually burned within them. "There is no reason for you to be wasting your time with thoughts like that. There is no answer to them and you should know that."

With that said, he walked past her with a brisk air now before him. Turning her head back, she looked a little bewildered. It must've been an odd subject for him to even consider divulging in. After all that time of being alone, it probably didn't hurt anymore. It must've been some sort dull throb always knocking around in the back of his mind.

She had to wonder if maybe, of all the people in the world that she had come to know, was he more human than all the actual humans?

--

It was several hours later when she found herself in the library, dusting off old books, flipping through them, and then placing them back on the shelf to recollect the dust she had brushed off. It was a sort of way to keep her mind busy—occupied with some sort of task so she wouldn't have to give herself a headache with thoughts she couldn't even decipher.

Settling herself on a huge armchair, she flipped through the crisp pages of an old leather-bound book. The cover was dark brown with faded gold letters. The letters were so ruined she couldn't even read the title. But she figured it must've been some sort of story by the looks of the pages. Finding it to be rather dull, filled with too much detail and not enough action, she placed it back where she found it on the shelf, alongside several other dusty books.

Deciding that nothing else could be done here, she walked out of the library. There was nothing for her to do, nothing that could keep her busy. There no missions, people were off sleeping, not that they'd talk to her, save for Walter, though she didn't want to bother the old man with her annoying company. Without really thinking about it, her footsteps led her to the balcony.

The air was cold, though it didn't affect her that much. She was always cold now and it felt better that way with her new body. Propping her elbows up on the balcony, she stared out at the vast night sky, not covered with buildings and smoke. It was peaceful, she decided. Her eyelids folded over her ruby orbs and she sighed, losing herself into quick dreams. Right now she didn't want to think of the curse of isolation or the thoughts of the human mind. It was all so trivial and useless.

"Glad to see you're thinking correctly."

Seras looked up from her resting spot to the figure that was Alucard. His glasses were back on his face, settling in the bridge of his nose. A light wind tousled his black mane and she smiled.

"I'm sure you've thought about it as well. I would hate to think that isolation is something we embrace so quickly."

Alucard's grin only widened. He had to give the girl credit. She was becoming keener on her surroundings and situation. Then again, it was only natural; his blood was mixed with hers.

"Don't thirst for your humanity, Police Girl. It brings nothing but regrets. It's the very thing that will destroy you now."

Seras glanced at him before tilting her head up at the stars. She couldn't help but think that maybe he was right. Maybe humanity was a waste of thought in her present state. It's not like it would ever come back to her. The only way to escape what she sometimes considered a "Personal Hell" was to die. Ironically enough, she had given up her humanity in order to live.

But she knew that no matter what Alucard may say, she wouldn't forget her humanity. It was a huge part of her life. Her family, her memories…They were what shaped her. How could one possibly forget that?

"I'm still going to remember it," she finally said aloud. "It's a part of me. And you too, master, have some sort of humanity in you." She smiled a little, knowing she was being a bit bold for that, but it seemed true enough. "In fact, I'd even go to say you are the most human person I have ever known."

Alucard snorted in a condescending way, not agreeing with her thoughts at all.

"We vampires, _true _vampires, creatures of the night, know what sin is like. We are already corrupted in the eyes of God. A human creates sins, but they can also be forgiven."

Seras laughed, looking once more at the moon.

"I won't tell anyone."


End file.
